Written by John Barrow

I have read and processed many ways to get unstuck, and I am amazed at the attention to detail suggestions contain. Without this attention to detail, the stuck person loses some of her potential to get unstuck. Coach Juli Shulem suggests three ways in a recent blog that have the potential to change persons’ lives, especially when combined with working with a Coach. If you’re like me, feeling stuck can tend to make you feel less attractive and more friendless than usual. However, growing a relationship with a Coach can help push back if not dissolve these myths most of us can buy into when we’re stressed.

But when does the extra intensity of self-work end? For me, often the sign that I’ve worked through a time of being overwhelmed is that I can laugh again. Recently I had been feeling stuck in the process of making a hard decision about which job to take. As I talked with my Coach, our conversation began going to a place I had never imagined—mostly because I had tried hard to forget it.

Dad woke my little brother (9 y.o.) and me (10 y.o.) up every school morning in 1965 at about 4:30 am. He’d make us sit at opposite ends of our sofa while he took out a pack of flashcards containing details about the elements. One side would have the word “Hydrogen” printed on it, and the other would have its abbreviation and atomic weight on it (“H” and “1.008”). He’d flash the card at me, scream “Hydrogen,” and then yell “1,2,3,” we being supposed to recall and repeat “H” and “1.008.” Needless to say, I’ve awakened in more pleasant situations.

As I talked with my Coach this time, (mostly I talked and she silently took in what I was sharing), something shifted inside me. I was no longer caught between making one decision or the other. Instead, I realized that each decision was both helpful and unhelpful, and I could relax, because there was no perfect answer.

I took a cleansing breath in, and do you know what happened? With my exhalation, I unexpectedly said the word “hydrogen.” And I laughed. I laughed deeply. I laughed like Tim Robbins in “Shawshank Redemption.” Burdens had lifted. I slept deeply and well. The next morning at work I wrote “hydrogen” on the back of a notecard, turned it over, and laid it on my desk. All day, when work conversations threatened to generate more heat than light, I’d touch the card, smile a little, relax, and join in on our negotiations again. It was a pleasant and successful day.

Until you come up with your own word (peace, health, joy), feel free to borrow hydrogen! Just don’t bother yourself with “H” or “1.008.”