Letting Go

Written by Dorothy Martin-Neville, PhD

In preparing for my move to a new home, I discovered that in addition to the normal anxiety, excitement, anticipation, and longing for peace and being settled, there was also the need to let go. To let go of things I never anticipated leaving behind and things far less tangible as well. 

Moving into a home with a dramatically different floor plan means some things I have will not fit. On top of that, some things such as my mattress which was 16 years old needs replacing, and my couches which after 16 years have me sitting close to the floor are going away as well. I had no problem with any of those. However, my dining set and my hutch, my heart feels the loss. It was a sad goodbye. There is no dining room in the new home so consequently nowhere to put them. They just don’t fit.  

I have given some things to those I know. I have given many large pieces, a curio, etc., to Habitat for Humanity. My dining room set I tried to sell or give to consignment. The standard response was “It is gorgeous, and like new, but no one does formal anymore so we couldn’t sell it. Sorry.” “Formal??? This gorgeous pecan table with 8 chairs and 2-18” leaves has a pineapple design as the base. How can a pineapple be formal? With sadness, I watched my table be taken away to Habitat for Humanity as well. 

As most things do, it got me thinking and looking inward. What else in life has been hard to let go of? Homes? Old friends? Businesses? What and how have I let go of those? Certainly, some were far easier than others. How do others let go? Getting caught in resentment? Illusions of victimization? Regret? What do you do? How do you handle letting go? Do you? Would you rather stay stuck and play it safe than confront change in order to move forward? 

This new home is contemporary and with a whole different floor plan. It calls me to decorate differently. To look at things differently and calls me to see myself a little differently. In spite of the sadness, I happen to love change. When the kids were little, I would change the furniture around just to feel freer and alive. 

Growth, change, adventure, it all excites me; it’s just that letting go is hard at times. Now the work is, what part of me do I want to let go of? What part of me do I now want to expand? 

What parts of me do I want to change? Moving brings up all these questions. 

What can/should you let go of? What will make you feel lighter? Freer? Less stuck? What part of your possessions and what part of you have you outgrown? Why are you holding on? Fear? Loss? The work involved? I say jump in!!! Letting go, even if it hurts a bit, can support the next steps, the next version of you and/or your life. Accumulating is a weighty proposition that can hold you back. Go for freedom, change, and growth. We weed gardens to see the hidden beauty. What part of you or your life could use a little weeding?  Your life, health, and/or your business might benefit enormously…

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Comments on "Letting Go"

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Carol Cho - Thursday, December 22, 2022

So fascinating! I am constantly evaluating what 'things' I have that I can let go off, like physical possessions and emotional baggage. I love these questions you ask and as it's the end of the year, will sit with these thoughts as I set my goals and intentions for 2023.

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