The Gift of Making a Decision

Written by Dorothy Martin-Neville, Ph.D

I’ve written frequently about mindset and here I go again. Coming at it from the strangest of directions – gardening. It’s that time of year again when mulching needs to be considered and then executed. Do I buy the standard mix of soft and hardwoods, to be spread amongst my plants and shrubs, etc., and then replace it every 2-3 years, or do I pay 2-3 times as much and get the latest trend of brown shredded rubber tires that last 12-15 years?

There really is no one right answer. Whichever serves you the best way possible – that’s YOUR right answer… Higher price but does not attract all kinds of bugs and infestations, and lasts an extremely long time, or less expensive but carpenter ants and other pests will progressively thank you for it more and more over time, and it needs to be replaced or supplemented every two years? Uncharacteristically, it’s taken me two weeks to step out of the maze and confusion of the two choices.

It reminded me of so many things, so many decisions, that can leave us in confusion.

Over 20 years ago, a mentor said to me “Confusion is a powerful woman’s greatest defense.” It can reference men or women but at that moment he was speaking in reference to a particular group we were discussing. Confusion gives us permission to stand still, to not decide, to stay stuck. It also gives our fear permission to not make a mistake, to not prove our lack of…. knowledge, wisdom, sophistication, whatever it is we believe we are lacking.

Confusion is very different from a clear awareness that we need time to research and/or weigh the pros and cons. That is a very clean, clear, decision whereas confusion supports a lack of decision, an illusion of powerlessness, and immobility. Two totally different energetic realities.

How frequently do you go into confusion? How frequently do you get stuck and choose to stay there versus putting the energy into making a decision? Into doing the research or polling to find a consensus from people who have experience in the area in question? There’s no judgment here, just a question. Clearly, I stayed there in fear of wasting money, in fear of causing an infestation in the house of, yet again, more carpenter ants, etc. We are all human.

I’m writing about it because it is soooo much easier to simply make the decision and then move on in your life to more enjoyable things, rather than carrying what can become an enormous weight on your shoulders. All because making a decision was too much of a pain or stressor to deal with. A life of peace, joy, and calm is so much sweeter.

For me, I chose brown shredded rubber mulch for right around the house to not attract bugs, and the matching but far less expensive wooden mulch for the rest of the garden. Was it a “perfect” decision? Maybe yes, maybe no, but having made a decision is such a relief since I don’t need to waste one more minute thinking about it. Haven’t you found that finally making a decision rather than debating something “forever” is such a great relief and so well deserved?

Go for it! What in your life needs a final decision today? What in your life, big or small, has been weighing you down and would be such a relief to let go of? I can assure you, once the decision is made you will ask yourself “What on earth took me so long?”

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