One of Those Days

Written by Dr. Dorothy Martin-Neville

Have you had one of those days where you know you are going into a spiral of anger, revenge, and righteousness and know it, yet – in that moment don’t know if you want to leave the fall just ‘cause???? Your three-year-old is out and having a field day…

I had one of those days this week and could feel myself getting caught up in “They need to learn a lesson. They are unprofessional, inept, and totally disrespectful, entitled idiots.” Because I was using big words “knew” it was my mature adult speaking and dealing with the incompetents of the world. Thankfully I was smart enough to nonetheless get up and go about another task, any task, to get some distance.

It’s amazing what distance can do for a person. Cleaning the house, washing dishes, anything, and everything works. Eventually, I could see that, yes, they were folks who dwelled in chaos and that drives me crazy. Everything was ready to go, and they had literally 15-20 things they
wanted to be changed. The more I changed the more they wanted to change with two days to the deadline after months of asking for all items in advance so if one little thing showed up at the end – sickness, broken equipment, etc., it would be a breeze to adapt. My request was ignored.

Taking the break allowed me to see that the world is not ending. My career was not coming to a rapid close. I would not die of humiliation at such a horrific showing and life would go on. I remembered my motto of humor and faith, took a deep breath, and continued on. Life happens that way sometimes. We have to deal with folks who operate so differently from us. Who love chaos perhaps and then at the last minute want you to jump… Or any other type of disparity can occur. Maybe you like chaos (most of those addicted to chaos pretend they don’t like it yet
consistently create it) and they keep asking for order and consistency...

Dealing with all the “insanity” in the journey can readily call up your petulant child who wants to control it all. Learning to recognize that fighting a battle you can’t win, attempting to change folks who don’t see the need for change, or trying to control situations you have no control over, can make you enraged - however - it can also free you from angst if you are willing to truly go into the rational adult and know this is not about you and it’s a waste of time.

Pick your battles. Know what is truly important, not to your ego but to the bigger picture. Recognize that battle along with righteousness is a deadly combination. Learn what you need to know from the situation and thank God for the growth. You can’t have inner peace and righteousness at the same time. You can’t resolve issues if you stay in battle. Most importantly, you can’t have your best life, your best you, and be in defense.

Letting go. Stepping back. And dealing from a place of emotional and spiritual detachment allows everything to fall off your shoulders. We aren’t here to battle but to live in peace, joy, and love. Stand up for social justice as needed yet stand down when it’s simply your ego that is being challenged. Life is short. Remember humor and faith…. AND that life will go on!

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